Wednesday, October 31, 2012



1. THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS FUNDAMENTALIST: "This hurricane is clearly God's judgment against sin! It's no accident it slammed the Jersey Shore where they produced that decadent sinful show..."

2. THE POLITICIAN: "Why did this have to happen right when we were gaining political momentum in the polls? Now we have to cancel our rallies in swing states for a few days?"

3. THE SCIENTIST: "Our barometer miscalculated the meteorological impact by a tenth of a percent."

4. THE LITTLE BOY: "Wow, Mom, I'm soo scared, but this storm is soooo cool. it's like a big bad water-monster. Woohoo, look at those cars floating like boats...I hope no one is hurt. Please God protect everybody and help them. Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Yay, school's cancelled. Mom, can Ricky stay overnight and play Monopoly with me? Pretty-please, since there's no school?"

Thursday, October 04, 2012

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE AT THE ROSSI HOUSEHOLD OCTOBER 3, 2012 Actual dialogue heard from our home to yours last night:

My daughter Karis: Romney needs a hair job.

Me: His hair looks okay. He looks good for his age, he's sixty-two.

Karis: Okay, okay.

My wife Sherrie: Sshhh!

Karis: Is he the guy who tied his dog on the roof of his car?

Me: Yeah.

My son Josh: I forgot about that.

Sherrie: Be quiet, I can't hear.

Karis: Why did he do that?

Josh (exiting): I gotta go to class.

All: Bye Josh, love you.

Me: Do what?

Karis: Tie the dog on his car-roof?

Me: I don't know, he's rich. Maybe he didn't want the dog to puke or poop inside his Rolls.

Sherrie: That's enough of that.

Karis: When is this thing over? I'm getting tired of listening to these guys. Boring.

Me: Yeah, they both seem stiff and overly rehearsed. It doesn't feel organic or from the heart. Neither guy is very Clintonesque tonight.

Karis: If women ran this debate it would be different.


Me: (quieter) How so??

Sherrie: Be quiet you two.

Karis: It wouldn't be like this fake show, it's a sporting event with commentary and play-by-play analysis afterwards. What do you think Dad?

Me: Sporting event? I don't know. I'm surprised Obama didn't use Romney's 47% remarks against him as a knock-out punch. No one's hitting a home run tonight. They both did good but not great. No knockout punch. Unless Obama's handlers told him to stay above the fray and take the punches like Rocky did with Mr. T. and come out hitting harder in the later rounds in the later debates. Romney had a nice lead-off single by using Clinton's technique of talking about an individual voter he met. Obama stumbled in the early innings but got a flurry of base hits in the ninth by pointing out how Romney's vague and lacking specifics.

Karis: I rest my case.